The Ultimates #13

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge.

In this issue we learn that Captain America is maybe not such a nice guy. I thought it was Fury who gave the order to have Bruce air-dropped in the hopes he'd Hulk out and survive the fall, but it was CAP. Also, I was not aware that the Hulk is *grey* this time around, not green. What? Why? I don't understaa... oh who cares.

The Ultimates #12

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge.


For reasons it took literally one panel to explain, the Skrull have decided that instead of their tranquil solution indoctrination plan they have to blow up the whole planet with some kind of huge-ass bomb, destroying not just Earth but the whole solar system. I don't know, just go with it I guess.

The Ultimates #11

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge.


This issue begins with a goddamn hero pose on the cover. Fuck I love Captain America. Is that weird? That's probably weird.

The Ultimates #10

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge.

We begin this issue with a flashback, where Steve is on a Nazi train in 1944, and I begin immediately to sob. BUCKKYYYYYY ;_;

The Ultimates #9

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge.

Soooo. Last issue we left off with Jan in hospital after being attacked by her husband, Hank. Cap has tracked him down, and is going to have a friendly talk with his obviously unwell teamma - ha ha no, he's going to kick the shit out of him.

The Ultimates #8

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge.

So much awesome Clint/Natasha in this issue :D So basically Russia's most bad ass redhead, Natasha 'Black Widow' Romanoff and the finest piece of ass to ever carry a bow, Clint 'Hawkeye' Barton spend the first few pages shooting what appear to be innocent office workers, but goddamn do they look like card-carrying badasses doing it.



MILITARY BOOTS. EVERYONE SHOULD BE WEARING THEM ALL THE TIME.

The Ultimates #7

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge.

Soooo yeah. Hank Pym, aka Giant Man, using a weird helmet thing, ordered a whole bunch of ants to attack and possibly kill his wife Janet, aka Wasp, because apparently no man in the Ultimates universe is rational or non-violent towards women.

The Ultimates #6

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge.

Hooooooooooooooly crap guys. Last issue things took a turn for the douche, and this issue things just keep getting worse. We open at the Triskadillyleolio, where all the people who got crushed in the wave of the rape!Hulk are being treated, and Betty the Worst Ex In The World is talking to Fury about how she feels responsible for her psycho ex-boyfriend drugging himself and going on a rampage trying to get into her pants.



No, Betty. It's really not.

The Ultimates #5

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge.


After Bruce Banner finds out his shitty-ass ex is having dinner with Freddie Prince Junior (no, seriously) he gets so mad he turns into the most rapey gross Hulk of all time.



This issue was a family size serving of D:

The Ultimates #4

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge.

We begin this issue with a close up of Tony's drunk-ass face, which is one of my favourite things, as you guys know. A couple of days after joining the team he takes off to hang out in space with some fictional(?) actress whose name I already forget, even though they helpfully drew her in a jumpsuit with a fucking name tag.

The Ultimates #3

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge.

So Bruce is thawing out Captain America, who has been frozen in the Arctic for over 40 years. Looks like you won't have to figure out the formula for the super soldier serum after all, Bruce! Hooray! Also, Tony owns half of Cap's ass.



My honest-to-goodness first thought when I read the beginning of this issue was that Janet looked like she was about to record a sex tape of her and Hank.

The Ultimates #2

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge. Previously: #1

While attempting to recreate the super soldier serum, Bruce Banner accidentally gave himself something called "hulk cells" and now he greens up and destroys buildings. We know he is a scientist, because scientists keep unhealthy hours. Possibly because science never sleeps.

The Ultimates #1

I'm going to be reviewing some of the comics I've been reading lately. It's a fun exercise because reading comics is quick and exciting, and it turns out that writing about comics is too! First cab off the Marvel rank is The Ultimates, or a fairly recent take on the Avengers, written by Mark Millar, pencilled by Bryan Hitch and inked by Andrew Currie, based on The Avengers by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.

(Just so everyone knows, I've already written my reviews for the first ten issues written, so I'll be scheduling them to go up over the next few days. Update frequency will drop off dramatically once that is done.)

Before we get started, here's some stuff you should know: I am very new to comics. I started with the Young Avengers (gimme all the Billy/Teddy. ALL OF IT) and since then I've basically read the first 90 or so issues of Uncanny X-Men. Once that got tiring (actually almost all of these were awful) I decided to skip ahead and start with some more 'modern' takes on Marvel's heroes. I'm now reading Joss Whedon's run on Astonishing X-Men and with the new Avengers movie coming out this year I wanted to brush up on Earth's Mightiest Heroes. I'm currently working off this recommended reading order, but I wanted to read more about Bucky so I skipped to Ultimates. Turns out, if you want to read about Bucky, you should really be reading Winter Soldier comics. Ahh well, live and learn.

Do I have download links? Negative, amigos. I torrent my comics and you can too! btjunkie, piratebay, whatever you got. I would also recommend you consider the Marvel digital subscription, which is $10 a month, and gives you access to their online repository. SO MANY COMICS OH MY GOD. As soon as I am employed again I will be renewing mine.

So, let's jump in with the first issue!