The Ultimates #8

With the new Avengers movie coming out in May, I'm reading The Ultimates to familiarise myself with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Colour commentary is provided free of charge.

So much awesome Clint/Natasha in this issue :D So basically Russia's most bad ass redhead, Natasha 'Black Widow' Romanoff and the finest piece of ass to ever carry a bow, Clint 'Hawkeye' Barton spend the first few pages shooting what appear to be innocent office workers, but goddamn do they look like card-carrying badasses doing it.

Anyway Clint and Nat get introduced to the rest of the team by Fury, who informs them that once S.H.I.E.L.D. finishes fabricating backstories for these two catsuit-wearing sonsabitches, they are going public as new members of the Ultimates.

Other new recruits include... DUN DUN DUUUUUN: Wanda and Pietro, otherwise known as Magneto's human-hating terrorist sprogs.

Wow. Pietro feel free to continue to look intense and smouldery, but please try to be less sexual with your sister. ANYWAY moving on. I took a lot of screencaps of Clint doing his thing, because, um, well. I think you guys know why.

ARM PORN. I don't even mind that he's wearing ridiculous earrings. LOOK AT THOSE GODDAMN ARMS. Dear Director Fury, please tell Barton that he's not allowed to wear sleeves ever, thank you kindly, love, Katy.

So after they fuck a bunch of shit up like fucking Neo and Trinity, taking a moment for Widow, while in freefall, to shoot a sniper rifle that has been dropped to her from a helicopter (it was awesome), we find out that the seemingly innocent office workers were actually members of a race of shapeshifting aliens who have been manipulating humanity since like the 1700s, and were even responsible for the Nazis!

No, they're not Skrulls. They're something called Chitauri, who apparently look like that when they die and can no longer maintain their human-looking forms. Nasty!

So the new teammates bond over their shared gag reflexes and then we hear that Steve and Hank are in Chicago. Fury orders Cap not to injure Giant Man, because despite the fact that he recently put his wife in the hospital, they still need him to fight bad guys! I don't know that Cap really agrees with you there, Nicholas.

Predictions for next issue: More Clint in a catsuit. Cap and Hank wrestling manfully. Natasha and Pietro banter. Onwards to ish 9, and let's find out!

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