But wait, no, this isn't movie-verse! We all know that James Barnes is alive and well and a hundred years old and dying of cancer. Yes. That's better than tragically falling to his death(?) from atop a Nazi train. Right?
ANYWAY. The train blows up and Cap makes a crack about Hitler making the trains run on time. I would make fun of that but honestly? My family uses that joke at least three times a year so it would make me a hypocrite to do so :P
Afterwards, Steve goes to a boring strategy meeting, and we find out that he has dealt with shape-shifting aliens before. Also, Cap don't want ice in his drink, bitch.
PROLLY BECAUSE HE'S GONNA SPEND DECADES FROZEN IN IT, RIGHT GUYS?
Um. I can't tell if that is meant to be foreshadowing, or what. Let's just jump forward to the present day, shall we? Jan is recovering from having the shit kicked out of her by her husband, Hank "I'm On Antidepressants, That Makes It Okay, Right?!" Pym. Wait, that nurse HAS A GUN WATCH OUT JAN!
Jan, being awesome, shrinks and escapes naked into the air ducts. Then we get a nice big shot of the helicarrier! Awesome, I love the helicarrier.
It's a fucking floating air-craft carrier. What could be cooler? Nothing, that's what.
In Micronesia, Fury's nicknames are really starting to get annoying, and also I don't think it's wise to piss Thor off...
Goldilocks probably also doesn't appreciate the stupid back muscle window in his costume, but I guess it's...functional? Aerodynamic? Yes. Let's go with that.
Jan tries to radio the team to let them know that they've been lured away from the real threat: Micronesia was a trap, set by the shifter aliens who infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D.'s "psi-division" in order to give them bogus information. Oh no!
We aren't sure if Jan got through to Fury and the team, though, but something has made them realise that everything isn't all hunky-dory. Steve's first reaction is to protect Tony, because, of course it is.
But, um. This doesn't look so good.
Ew, skeleton dust.
Anyway the Micronesia decoy base blows sky high, and then a dude shows up to menace Jan, because she hasn't been through enough lately, obvs.
Who da fuq is this bitch?
My guess? Norman Osborne aka Green Goblin. But, uhh, I have no idea. What is in Jan's past that has come back to haunt her? I'd say her fucking present is pretty goddamn haunting already. Tune in for ish #11 to find out!