The Children's Crusade #9

This week, I'm recapping the Young Avengers: The Children's Crusade, a nine issue story that just wrapped up this month. You can start with my commentary of the first issue, here. 


When we last saw our heroes, Victor Von Doom had tricked Wanda, the Scarlet Witch, into giving him the power to change reality as he saw fit. He reveals that he is the one actually responsible for destroying the Avengers and mutantkind, and he has apparently killed Cassie, aka Stature.



Oh my fucking god. Any time you want to wake up and be fine, Cassie, that would be great.

The Children's Crusade #8

This week, I'm recapping the Young Avengers: The Children's Crusade, a nine issue story that just wrapped up this month. You can start with my commentary of the first issue, here. 


My predictions for Victor Von Doom's reaction to absorbing the "life force" (aka the power to shape reality as he sees fit) were scarily accurate. He plans a benevolent dictatorship, where all the world's inhabitants will have everything they desire, and he is the supreme ruler of mankind, and also, he still wants Wanda to be his bride.



I don't know why Doom is always looking for a bride. It seems to be his primary goal in life. Maybe you should set up a Latverian OkCupid, Vic!

The Children's Crusade #7

This week, I'm recapping the Young Avengers: The Children's Crusade, a nine issue story that just wrapped up this month. You can start with my commentary of the first issue, here.

Last issue Wanda got her powers and her memory back, and started restoring the powers of mutants. This issue begins with me wondering if maybe the Scarlet Witch wouldn't have been so cranky if she didn't have a permanent wedgie.




That can't be comfortable! Anyway moving on.

The Children's Crusade #6

This week, I'm recapping the Young Avengers: The Children's Crusade, a nine issue story that just wrapped up this month. You can start with my commentary of the first issue, here.

Nate takes Wanda Maximoff and the Young Avengers back in time to observe the day that destroyed the Avengers: when Jack of Harts returned from the dead and killed his former teammate Scott Lang, AKA Ant Man. Except they don't just observe.

Cassie is able to get her father to a safe distance before the explosion kills him, and the whole incident seems to have returned not only Wanda's memories, but also her powers. She remembers being the Scarlet Witch, and now everyone is witnessing that day once again, even Clint Barton, the original Hawkeye, another Avenger who died that day.

All you need to know about Clint Barton is that he has fucked everything that moved.

Jessica Jones: Oh, my god, Clint! You had sex with her!
Beast: What?!?
Hawkeye: Can we focus on the impending catastrophe, here?

The Children's Crusade #5

This week, I'm recapping the Young Avengers: The Children's Crusade, a nine issue story that just wrapped up this month. You can start with my commentary of the first issue, here.

Um. So if you guys recall, Billy snuck off from Avengers HQ to rescue his mother, the Scarlet Witch, who Wolverine and many others believe should die for her role in the mutant genocide. Billy is promptly caught by Doctor Doom, and the Avengers, Young Avengers, Magneto and Doom's army of killer robots are all doing battle in Latveria. Cap sums up the situation while very distinctly not telling Eli "I told you so."



Heh. Hehehehehe. "Out-bad-guy each other to death". Captain America has a sense of humour!

The Children's Crusade #4.5

This week, I'm recapping the Young Avengers: The Children's Crusade, a nine issue story that just wrapped up this month. You can start with my commentary of the first issue, here.

Um. So the cover for this issue claims that it is a Fear Itself one-shot, but still part of the Children's Crusade storyline. The cover seems to depict grown up versions of the Young Avengers? Some of them, anyway. There is definitely a Kate Hawkeye, an Eli Patriot, and what I think is an adult Tommy as Speed:



I sense fuckery in our futures, dear reader.

The Children's Crusade #4

This week, I'm recapping the Young Avengers: The Children's Crusade, a nine issue story that just wrapped up this month. You can start with my commentary of the first issue, here.

Discovering his spirit mama Wanda is being held captive by Dr Doom, Billy travels to Latveria to scout out the situation. There, he discovers that she seemingly has no recollection of her true identity or her past actions, and that she intends to marry Doom the next day.

As Billy tries to explain, Doom himself arrives and incapacitates the teen witch. Meanwhile, Magneto and the Young Avengers plan their search and rescue mission, only to be distracted by the sight of Wonder Man showing up to rescue Wanda.



mmm, gratuitous Simon. I'd be distracted too.

The Children's Crusade #3

This week, I'm recapping the Young Avengers: The Children's Crusade, a nine issue story that just wrapped up this month. You can start with my commentary of the first issue, here.

While attempting to kill his father Magneto, Quicksilver accidentally stabs a woman who the group initially believe to be Wanda, the Scarlet Witch. However, she has a serious case of Terminator-face, and so now they believe that Wanda is being held captive by Doctor Doom.

This issue begins with a helpful recap of the character of Victor Von Doom, who, listen, I'm sure when these comics came out in the 60s seemed really deep and interesting and a compelling villain, but who now is just super dumb.

His thing is that he mixed science and magic, and got burned. It literally burned him, and so he made himself a face out of metal? And I guess if you're walking around looking like this:



and your name is literally "doom", then your only choice is to become a super villain.

The Children's Crusade #2

This week, I'm recapping the Young Avengers: The Children's Crusade, a nine issue story that just wrapped up this month. You can start with my commentary of the first issue, here.

So the team have just busted Billy and Teddy out of Avengers HQ when Magneto shows up and claims that they are Wanda's "spiritual heirs", and this will somehow help him find her.




When they do close-ups like that, I seriously cannot tell if it is Erik, Pietro, or Tommy. Welp. Talk about a family resemblance.

The Children's Crusade #1

The last issue of Children's Crusade just came out, so I decided to re-read the series. This was a good decision, because TEDDY IS THE GREATEST.

Writer: Alan Heinberg, Editor: Tom Brevoort, Art: Jim Cheung & Mark Morales

We begin with a recap from Billy, explaining who the team is and what their powers are, over the top of the Young Avengers taking on the Sons of the Serpent. Eli helpfully points out why they don't get along with these assholes: