When we last saw our heroes, Victor Von Doom had tricked Wanda, the Scarlet Witch, into giving him the power to change reality as he saw fit. He reveals that he is the one actually responsible for destroying the Avengers and mutantkind, and he has apparently killed Cassie, aka Stature.
Oh my fucking god. Any time you want to wake up and be fine, Cassie, that would be great.
...No? Well, shit.
Nate suggests taking her to the timestream so he can find her a future doctor that will help cure her chronic case of death. The gang thinks that is a supremely bad idea, since Nate fucking around with time has been a reeeeeeeally bad idea so far. The Vision is all "you need to leave her, and let her family mourn her" and Nate is all YOU'RE NOT MY REAL ROBOT DAD.
Lashing out in grief that his special fucking lady friend is dead, Iron Lad decides to destroy the cybernetic construct that he himself designed, a construct with feelings and opinions and personality, who had been kind of sort of going out with Cassie since Iron Lad left.
I TOLD YOU GUYS THAT WOULD GET AWKWARD.
So Nate is all I WILL BE BETTER THAN KANG THE CONQUEROR, YOU'LL ALL SEE! *EVIL LAUGH OF EVIL* and then he disappears. Well! That went well.
Scott says that even if Doom was to blame for everything Wanda did, there's no punishment severe enough for her.
What.
The.
Fuck.
Even?
Wanda refuses to rejoin the Avengers, vowing to spend the rest of her life trying to help the people she hurt. Magneto continues his reputation as a huge creeper:
Ugh. This issue is a huge bummer, you guys.
Poor Scott.
Poor Vision.
Just...poor everyone.
Eli decides to quit being Patriot, because he feels responsible for stopping Wanda from re-powering all the mutants.
Kate quits too, and then Billy. And then Teddy quits too, but not before having an adorable brother-in-law moment of bonding with Tommy.
(PS I think this is about the nine hundredth time we've seen the gang all quit being avengers, btw)
Anyway, months pass, and Billy seems to be in a pretty bad depression. Teddy is having none of that.
AND THEN:
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS.
FINALLY.
So then Billy, Teddy, Tommy and Kate go to Avengers HQ and Cap makes them all official Avengers, and there is a memorial statue of Cassie, and the Vision, and I am legit tearing up a little bit right now.
I'M SO HAPPY FOR BILLY AND TEDDY.
I'M SO SAD THAT CASSIE DIED.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY FEELINGS ARE DOING RIGHT NOW. I'M GOING TO QUEUE THIS POST AND MAYBE COME BACK TO IT WHEN I CAN BE COHERENT.
If you enjoyed this edition of The Comic Book Commentary No One Asked For, you might also like to read my recaps of The Ultimates Vol. 1, all though I can not in good conscience ask you to expose yourself to that travesty of a series.
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